Understanding and having confirmation of the 'someting' can only help the OP find direction. Whats most important is that both partners express their needs honestly and recognize that while sexual attraction can shift over time, it may not. So Your Partner is AsexualHow Do You Cope? For you and your partners emotional wellbeing, youre going to have to decide whether you want to remain in such a relationship. I dont know what to do, I wont ever break up with him over it because I love him so much more than sex but I miss sex so so much and wish he could consider even doing a single thing with me again. Prior to knowing about asexuality, there was blame, suffering, contempt, feeling sorry for myself. . That said, if you experience any distress as a result of your orientation, or you feel uncertain about your orientation or what your lack of sexual attraction might mean, talking to a compassionate, LGBTQIA+ affirming therapist can help. (2017). Whether he identifies as asexual or not isnt very important. Some people have an attraction to people of one gender, others to people of many genders, and some dont experience sexual attraction at all. To learn more about what asexuality looks like, check out this video: A relationship with an asexual can work, but you have to be willing to communicate and understand each others needs. "Some would deem it a deal breaker, but others not so much" he shared. I'm in a cisgender, heterosexual marriage. You are not broken and neither is your husband. 4 Learn what asexuality isn't. Asexuality is a sexual orientation that's distinct from heterosexuality, homosexuality, bisexuality, pansexuality, and other orientations. Keep in mind, too, that its OK (and very healthy) to have a high sex drive and want to have sex often. My husband is judging me and saying I'm ungrateful for feeling . azizeh@siliconvalleymarriagecounseling.com, About Silicon Valley Marriage Counseling Center. For me It takes moxie, I never had moxie before, and shied away from starting difficult conversations because I didnt have a way to fix our issues, and felt invisible in his world. Through that conversation we found out other things too, like his executive function memory issues, and that he is adhd. The other thing that also happens is that you have some sort of life milestone that makes sex difficult. Plenty of people who arent asexual have a low libido and may not desire sex. Thats very common. Many people view sexuality as a spectrum. They might build these romantic relationships with other asexual people, or with people who arent asexual. For some of us, emotional intimacy is more important than physical intimacy, or cuddling is more important than penetration.
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